johnpaulca
12,036 posts
msg #68220
- Ignore johnpaulca |
10/9/2008 3:30:50 PM
With all the turmoil in the market today and the collapse of Lehman Bros and Acquisition of Merrill Lynch by Bank of America this might be some good advice For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.
Watch for these consolidations in later this year:
1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W R. Grace Co. Will merge and become:
Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace .
2.) Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become:
Poly, Warner Cracker.
3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become:
MMMGood.
4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become:
ZipAudiDo Da .
5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become:
FedUP.
6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:
Fairwell Honeychild.
7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become:
PouponPants.
8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become:
Knott NOW!
And finally...
9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith &Wesson will merge under the new name:
TittyTittyBangBang
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FuriousThug
256 posts
msg #68221
- Ignore FuriousThug |
10/9/2008 3:45:32 PM
I'm holding out for the Fannie Mae, Proctor & Gamble, Hologix merger:
Fannie ProctoLogix
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guru_trader
485 posts
msg #68222
- Ignore guru_trader |
10/9/2008 4:22:02 PM
LOL, yes, at least something to laugh about
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TheRumpledOne
6,411 posts
msg #68226
- Ignore TheRumpledOne |
10/9/2008 4:38:39 PM
New Stock Market Terms
CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry
VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A person whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past week investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.
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FuriousThug
256 posts
msg #68229
- Ignore FuriousThug |
10/9/2008 5:22:42 PM
This just in:
Following the problems with Lehmann Bros and the sub-prime lending market in the USA uncertainty has now hit Japan.
In the last 7 days Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up, and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches. Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.
While Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.
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marine2
963 posts
msg #68244
- Ignore marine2 |
10/9/2008 11:08:23 PM
When God decides the fall is over then you will know. God corrects our greed, our blindness to saneness. It's his way of cleansing everyone throughout the world. Make us realize that we need to simplify our lives. We will come out of this huge downturn a better person, a better nation and a better world.
Our value system will be back to normal after a few years. The problem will be once we begin our recovery process we will lose a generation of equity investors because of this crash. The trust in the markets will take a long long time to recover. I do feel sad for retirees that depended on their IRA's for their survival. Let's hope the man above helps them first.
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alf44
2,025 posts
msg #68246
- Ignore alf44 |
10/9/2008 11:13:28 PM
...with all due respect..."God" has ZERO...to do with this !
Love ya, "marine"...but...pahleeeze !!!
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mystiq
650 posts
msg #68252
- Ignore mystiq |
10/10/2008 4:27:50 AM
Investment tips for 2008===> MicroTurbines, Wind/Solar power, Water , BioTech, .......
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FuriousThug
256 posts
msg #68257
- Ignore FuriousThug |
10/10/2008 9:22:41 AM
Didn't God get us into this mess in the first place?
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alf44
2,025 posts
msg #68258
- Ignore alf44 |
10/10/2008 9:44:26 AM
...not sure...I DO know that I've used "his" name in vain about a thousand times this week though !!!
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